Teach me how to sleep, please.

My sleeping schedule has been getting worse. I now sleep around 7 or 8 A.M., and a lot of times, I end up not even sleeping at all. I really want to fix this, but the more I try to make myself sleep earlier, the later I end up falling asleep. What to do...

As some of you may know... I booked my Christmas flight back to Saratoga a long time ago, and was just too lazy to check the dates of when finals end, so I ended up booking my ticket for a week later than I should've. The earliest I could have changed it to without it being too expensive was Monday, 5 days after what I originally planned. Although it was pretty boring, I guess I enjoyed the freedom. I also managed to run campus loop [4 miles!] nonstop at 2:30 A.M. Yes, I have weird... tendencies. I was really expecting to have stopped for a break at least once, but I'm so proud that I didn't.

Also, my grades came. Although I did really badly, I was expecting a lot worse. I was seriously expecting two C's, but thankfully that didn't happen. Still, no more screwing around, I really can't afford that anymore.

I spent this weekend as my sister's super awesome condo in Daly City. While we were shopping in San Francisco, this guy starts walking really close to me and links his arm through mine. I then run and escape to my sister and he says, "I was trying to escort you." and some other random stuff that I didn't listen to because I was too busy running away. He also proceeded to try to follow me. Why am I always surrounded by such creepy people? My sister says "creepy guys always go after me because I look stupid and I'm an easy target." Thanks.

Other random thoughts:

1) I am determined to watch Wicked if it's the last thing I do. Anyone want to join me?
2) Various people in the past week have told me that I'm funny. I don't think I'm funny.
3) Trader Joe cookies are the shit.
4) Hang out with me this break :)


...o!!<

P.S. I'm sick and tired of your fucking lies. Just say it to my face.

WHY CAN'T I FOCUS

For some reason, the week before every quarter/semester ends, I lose motivation and get really lazy and stop caring about school. I'm really not sure why this happens, but I can't even remember a time when this hasn't happened.

I have never felt so unmotivated to study, nor have I ever cared less. Even when I drag myself to go to the library, my mind keeps wandering and I can't focus at all. I've honestly been like this all quarter, and that is why my grades have never been worse. This is a habit I really need to change, but I'm having so much difficulty getting over it; there's just constantly too much on my mind. It seems like for the past two years, my whole life has revolved around school. I suppose it's not really a bad thing, but I've lost sight of what's most important in life.

I wish this was all over already. I wish things would just go back to the way they were a year ago.

On the bright side, I bought myself a mini x-mas tree! :D I bought it from the bookstore and it was only 3 bucks! yaaaaay! And 12 ornaments were only 2 bucks. I'm super super happy about this. I even ran back to my apartment to set up my tree and decorate it ASAP. I really wish I had a life-sized one, but this tiny one will do for now.

Things I hate:













Studying. gr.

Things I like:

My xmas tree! I need to get lights. It looks so naked right now.


Also...

I feel like I have turned into a robot. I am never tired nor hungry anymore. Even when I go days without sleep, I'm still as awake as though I've gotten a full night's rest. Given the choice, I would never sleep since I find it a waste of time. Except I don't even study when I'm up, so I just feel really unproductive. Thus, I only sleep so I feel less guilty about not studying. Likewise for food; even when I don't eat anything all day, I'm still never hungry. I can't even remember the last time I was tired/hungry. This is so strange. I've been so restless.


...o!!<