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This Isn't Over!
10 years ago
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Stress
I am so stressed out right now. I think the last time I was this stressed was when I was back at De Anza. After being burnt out since summer, I stopped caring and realized that was my key to success (no joke; I've been doing infinitely better than I was when I was trying). But now that I know I have these new (learning) superpowers, my expectations suddenly rose a lot. After my first final this morning, I started stressing that I wouldn't get an A+ although I'm positive I'll at least get an A. I thought about that for like 2 hours even though I knew it didn't really matter. I'm sure I'm actually pretty prepared for my two finals tomorrow (one of which is the hardest class I've ever taken in my life, but ironically also my favorite), but I'm still stressing out. I think it's because I'm really expecting/aiming for straight A's this quarter (not like that's different from usual, but I feel like I'm a lot more capable of doing so now). Anywayyyy. Okay CHILL ANGELA! study timeeee.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Cheaters Never Prosper
I'm not sure if I've actually had a gone through a lot of life experiences; maybe I have, or maybe they just leave a more profound impact on me. Either way, I feel like a lot of experiences throughout my life have really shaped me to become the person I am today.
In my senior year of high school, I was rejected from practically every school I applied to [Okay, 4/8, but I only got into the crappy schools]. But most importantly, I was rejected from UCSD, the school I've been wanting to go to for the past few years. This initially hit me pretty hard, but I knew it was because I was a complete slacker. It was the worst feeling; getting rejected. I never ever wanted to let that happen again, and all that instant gratification and fun really drags you down in the future. I started busting my ass and working harder than anyone else I know. I honestly believe I am one of the most dedicated workers out there. I may not be as smart or talented, but I sure as hell don't give up on my goals.
So clearly, I believe hard work is the key to success. I'm really proud of how hard I work, and I really enjoy working hard for something I want, because it's a great feeling when all it all pays off in the end. But today, someone who I don't even know; someone who doesn't even know me asked me if I would be interested in cheating for the mol bio final. I'm not sure why, but I felt extremely offended. After rejecting him, he offered me $100 to work with him. Even worse, this cheater is in PDS. At that point, I just felt so disappointed in people like him. I'm not sure why this affected me as much as it did, but I remember how pissed I was when people who didn't even deserve to get into UCSD did, when it was something I wanted more than anything else back then. I felt like it was so unfair how I worked so hard only for someone to cheat and easily slip ahead of me and get what I want.
Oh well, I'm sure his cheating ways throughout life will end up biting him in the butt.
In my senior year of high school, I was rejected from practically every school I applied to [Okay, 4/8, but I only got into the crappy schools]. But most importantly, I was rejected from UCSD, the school I've been wanting to go to for the past few years. This initially hit me pretty hard, but I knew it was because I was a complete slacker. It was the worst feeling; getting rejected. I never ever wanted to let that happen again, and all that instant gratification and fun really drags you down in the future. I started busting my ass and working harder than anyone else I know. I honestly believe I am one of the most dedicated workers out there. I may not be as smart or talented, but I sure as hell don't give up on my goals.
So clearly, I believe hard work is the key to success. I'm really proud of how hard I work, and I really enjoy working hard for something I want, because it's a great feeling when all it all pays off in the end. But today, someone who I don't even know; someone who doesn't even know me asked me if I would be interested in cheating for the mol bio final. I'm not sure why, but I felt extremely offended. After rejecting him, he offered me $100 to work with him. Even worse, this cheater is in PDS. At that point, I just felt so disappointed in people like him. I'm not sure why this affected me as much as it did, but I remember how pissed I was when people who didn't even deserve to get into UCSD did, when it was something I wanted more than anything else back then. I felt like it was so unfair how I worked so hard only for someone to cheat and easily slip ahead of me and get what I want.
Oh well, I'm sure his cheating ways throughout life will end up biting him in the butt.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Guys and Girls
Okay, so I never did finish that last post. Looking at the past few blog posts, I've been extremely bitter and butt-hurt. I've mostly gotten over that phase now, so I'll spare y'all the overdramatic-ness.
Personally, I've always thought it was a lot easier to get along with guys. I think I share a lot more interests as guys do, and they're generally more chill and can take a joke. However, I've realized that although I've had many close friendships with guys, these guys never stay my friends for long. Eventually, they just all drift out of my life. Sadly, this happens so much that I'm starting to get used to it; I no longer expect my friendships to last. This is probably another reason why I don't trust anyone, because no one's really there for you. They're all just going to leave in the end.
^ Okay, that sounded really negative, but it's really not as bad as it seems. I'm just more independent and keep to myself.
I suppose in the past year, I've lost a lot of important friendships. One in particular is one that I still can't stop thinking about every day. We were so close last year, and we both said we would always be good friends, but I don't know why things just fell apart.
I've always really treasured my friendships and held them in high regard, but am I ignorant for doing so? It seems like no one else cares about staying friends or fights for a friendship as much. Maybe it's silly of me to try to hang onto things in my life so much; maybe I should just learn to let go instead.
Ooo.
Personally, I've always thought it was a lot easier to get along with guys. I think I share a lot more interests as guys do, and they're generally more chill and can take a joke. However, I've realized that although I've had many close friendships with guys, these guys never stay my friends for long. Eventually, they just all drift out of my life. Sadly, this happens so much that I'm starting to get used to it; I no longer expect my friendships to last. This is probably another reason why I don't trust anyone, because no one's really there for you. They're all just going to leave in the end.
^ Okay, that sounded really negative, but it's really not as bad as it seems. I'm just more independent and keep to myself.
I suppose in the past year, I've lost a lot of important friendships. One in particular is one that I still can't stop thinking about every day. We were so close last year, and we both said we would always be good friends, but I don't know why things just fell apart.
I've always really treasured my friendships and held them in high regard, but am I ignorant for doing so? It seems like no one else cares about staying friends or fights for a friendship as much. Maybe it's silly of me to try to hang onto things in my life so much; maybe I should just learn to let go instead.
Ooo.
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